21st Birthday: When Reality Hits
Hey guys, so you may or may not know, but on September 16, 2018, I celebrated my 21st birthday! It’s so exciting to finally be of age to go out to clubs and bars. I was pretty much the last of my friends to finally be legal, so it really just feels good. I spent my actual birthday weekend with my family in New York and that was a good time, but your 21st is all about the “lituation” and being with friends. So, I decided that I would actually go out for my birthday the following weekend.
In my mind I had this great big idea of what I wanted my birthday to be like and this huge expectation of how it was supposed to be. I just wanted all those I cared about and enjoyed spending time with to be around me and for us to have a great time together. I thought it would be fun, a bit of a reunion, and a good way to introduce some new people to those I’ve known for a while. Long story short, people fell through and I gave up on my birthday wishes. Even the people who are normally there for me couldn’t be there; they were either underage or out of the country. My 21st ended up being a really emotional time for me, I would have never imagined it this way. I don’t have many friends and I’m content with that, but, the feeling of rejection and really messed with my head. This really got to me, I had ups and downs the whole way through.
I really felt alone and like no one cared about being there with me for my day, my celebration. I really hated that I even had to plan my own event, and then to have people fall through made it even worse. Maybe I’m just over analyzing the situation, but this is just how I feel.
Even though my 21st was a really emotional time for me, there was a greater message behind it all. A few greater messages to be honest. First of all, this experience helped me to truly appreciate the people who I do have around me on a normal basis. They weren’t all able to be there on the day I celebrated, but I honestly don’t know what I would do without these people because they really hold me down. Their absence made me appreciate them even more. Secondly, you shouldn’t go out searching for what you already have. Sometimes you need to stop and just appreciate the way things will go rather than how you wanted it to be. That night, I still did end up going out, it was just my boyfriend and roommate; we had a great time! I was planning this night weeks in advance, searching for attendees in all the wrong places. I just wanted to show up with a big group, so I could show out on Instagram. And clearly that fell through, those people didn’t make the time for me because they aren’t really “my people”, if they were they would have been there.
No, I can’t be mad at them for this, but it really did hurt me, probably more than you would think. Like I stated before I was really emotional and sensitive during this time. I kept looking past the two people (boyfriend and roommate) who I knew would come, and for what? Just to be disappointed in those I shouldn’t have expected much from anyway? That honestly just doesn’t make sense.
My 21st didn’t go how I pictured in my mind, but I had a great time at the end of the day both with my family and with the two who actually showed up.
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Question of the Day:
Who’s that one person you can always count on regard less of what they have going on?
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